As a creative person, I find myself slacking off when I have to do something. Yes, there’s a bit of laziness involved, but upon reflection, I realized that a major reason is my constant pursuit of perfection. I get inspired by people who have spent years mastering their craft, yet I expect my work to match their level instantly. So, every time I shoot, record, or write, I question: ‘Is this good enough to post?’, ‘Will people like it?’, ‘Will it generate enough traffic?’ I realized that this is an unrealistic standard that I have on myself and in the end I seldom take action showing no progress.
This is one mindset that has been the key factor of all my procrastination. Everything I do, I focus too much on the results. Even for my job search, I get many ideas but I think too much without actually working on that idea. Every time I develop a strategy, the first question that comes to mind is: ‘Will this land me a job?’
I recently created a short film for my YouTube channel, and it was nearly complete. I went through the whole video and found that it did not offer the intended emotional depth and the humor did not work well in the end. Throughout the process, I was not happy with the way it turned out because I was unable to effectively translate what I had in my mind. Ultimately, I wasn’t satisfied with the final product, so I decided not to post it. If I had put in more effort by reshooting and re-editing, it might have worked. But I felt like abandoning the project because it didn’t meet my expectations. Any videos that I made before, I made it for the sole purpose of posting them online. I experimented with new editing techniques on each video and just kept posting them. However, with this film, right from the scripting stage, I aimed to create my best work. I was thinking too much about the audience on how they would react to each scene. After all my reflection, should I have just gone ahead and posted it? Maybe yes.
While doomscrolling on Austin Kleon’s website, I came across a quote: ‘If it’s crap, so what?’. To top it off, I got another reminder the same day. In a boxing show that I’m currently binging, the main character is set to face an opponent in his comeback match after a harrowing loss in the championship game. The challenge he has is that there is no information on his opponent. What type of a boxer is he? What kind of strategies does he resort to in the ring? And how does he even look in the first place? Nothing is known. With all these unknowns, combined with comeback anxiety, the main character falls into a state of confusion and uncertainty. In spite of all this, he keeps practicing, he works on improving his weaknesses and he even figures out a new technique by strengthening his offensive and defensive ability. Through repeated practice and deep work, he wins the match by knockout, marking his triumphant return. Sometimes, I love how life throws reminders like this in different ways and if you don’t realize, it pushes it on you even harder to make you realize.
I understood that there is a massive difference between taking action and staying still. The perfectionist mindset pushes tasks to the back burner, allowing them to pile up. Every day, I wake up frustrated, feeling unproductive and stagnant. I became so fixated on the results that I forgot to enjoy the process.
It’s about time that I again focus only on posting. Things don’t have to be perfect, they just need to exist. The process itself is the greatest teacher. It’s also a matter of something to show my work to the public instead of aiming for perfect work and not producing anything at all. I will start to be more open from now on and will start sharing more.
Adios!